Queen Lioness

Enter at your risk into the warm and inviting den of the lioness. Once you cross over that threshold, you are now close to her heart which puts you under her magnifying glass. Everything she holds dear and truly values are within these walls. Come in peace and tread lightly because she watches you closely. When she listens to the words you speak, she is communicating with her inner spirit to discern facts from fiction. In her mind, she dissects your words and measures them with a grain of salt. To trust or not to trust is the question troubling her soul. Don’t be fooled by her eloquent speech or the light in her eyes because they are deceiving and hide the truth of her mood. Her calm demeanor is like a painted veil because beneath it all is a raging beast.

Who can love such a lioness? Her cubs are covered by her maternal instincts to nurture and nourish but are smothered by her controlling personality. She wonders if her cubs will see beyond the constant rules in order to see her playful side. Will they love her if she shaves her mane and exposes the scars and invisible wounds? Her companion, the King, is clothed with affection and loyalty but is easily pushed away by her independence. Can her King penetrate her thick skin to touch her heart? An even bigger question is whether she will let him?

Small fires become ravenous and consumes everything she touches. How can she control it so that those she loves dearly don’t get burned and grow to have scars? How would she manage if her cubs grow with visible scars that are indicative of her smothering and controlling ways? How would she manage if her King roams the lands to find another lioness who would submit to him as she once did? Would she be a failure?

She has a kingdom to maintain so this is not the task of a weak lioness but of an ambitious and strong willed hunter. She often wonders who she will become when her kingdom becomes empty. Who is she without the daily tasks and art of busyness that she’s mastered? Will she be able to relax and be still? Perhaps she can train other lioness in the tribe on how to maintain their future kingdoms. She knew that would mean cleaning up her own kingdom. She was wise enough to know that the blind couldn’t lead the blind. She retreated to the bathing area of her cave to dip into what she called “healing water” which was warm and relaxing. In this place, she would connect with her higher self to see her reflection clearly.

On her journey into the deep levels of her subconscious, the desire to find answers leaves her weak and vulnerable. She knows she must trust the process and remain open to hard truths. How did she become this way? Was it her upbringing or true nature? Could she really change? Would she want to? She doesn’t recognize the young lioness she once was. The lioness that followed and willingly submitted to her young King’s demands and fleshy desires. The lioness who believed in ruling her kingdom with kindness, unconditional love and humility. The lioness who showed up for members of her tribe without questioning loyalty or motives. She breathes deeply and the hunger to see her reflection clearly forces her to answer her own questions.

She observed her mother rule her kingdom and that level of control was imprinted in her memory. When the time came to create her own kingdom, her stored memories awoke and allowed her to function in an almost identical state. Overtime the demeanor and thought pattern required to maintain her kingdom became a part of her DNA. She knows no other way to cope with the demands of being Queen Lioness. There was no other Lioness that stayed around to imprint on her to provide an alternate perspective.

When her inner peace is interrupted, her world becomes chaotic and explosive. As Queen Lioness, she demands respect and has no tolerance for dis-loyal and troublesome members of her tribe. She punishes herself in private after she withdraws her claws and sees the blood drawn. How can she repair the damage of the harsh words spoken or physical assault once the rage leaves her body? Will they forgive her? Can she forgive herself?

In her mind, her position is sound and reasonable but has she considered the feelings of others? Will she be willingly to admit her shortcomings or will pride prevent her from restoring dying relationships? She recalls watching her mother handle similar issues with troublesome members of her own tribe using an iron fist which led to isolation and rejection. The pain her mother carried for years to come was not something the Queen Lioness wanted for her life. She wanted to settle tribe issues fairly without compromising her boundaries but was unwilling to allow herself to be mistreated in any way. She decided that she wouldn’t rule like her mother with an iron fist but love from a distance with a wall around her heart for protection. This was a temporary solution until she gained enough wisdom to do better.

If only the members of her tribe behaved like those of her inner circle who showed consistent love, respect and support. Because she was valued, the Lioness was easy to reciprocate the actions of her trusted inner circle. The Lioness observed that the troublesome tribe members had grown envious of her inner circle. She understood that too much conflict and tension would cause a kingdom to crumble and her purpose in life was to maintain her kingdom at all costs.

Failure was not an option. The Queen would stay on her throne and continue to rule over all that she’s been entrusted with: To love herself first. To love and protect the king until the day she dies. To love and develop her cubs until they are ready to face the world. To love members of her tribe for who they are and not for who she wishes them to be. Her work will never be done as long as there is breath in her body. Long live the Queen!

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